As a a Minnesotan in exile, I present the Top 16 Reasons the Republicans are meeting in Saint Paul rather than Minneapolis. If you have any other explanations, go ahead and add them in the comments.

16. St. Paul looks grittier than Minneapolis.

15. You can’t get cream and sugar in your coffee in Minneapolis.

14. Irish Catholic bars are more fun that Scandinavian Lutheran bars.

13. Most Republicans have never been to the St. Paul Winter Carnival.

12. General Disorder is always preferred over General Mills.

11. Minneapolis has a “Prince” and Republicans believe in Democracy.

10. Fearful that in Minneapolis McCain might be confused with the original Viking.

9. Republicans plan to infiltrate Garrison Keillor’s radio audience and expose him as a Muslim terrorist.

8. There is a larger potential voting population east of the Mississippi.

7. Fear that although Hubert Humphrey is dead, he may still be talking to a DFL caucus and dominating the media in Minneapolis.

6. The Minneapolis Armory wasn’t available.

5. Republicans think the Minneapolis Aquatennial is a leftist political plot involving waterboarding.

4. St. Paul doesn’t require guilt and angst before entering.

3. If delegates get bored in St. Paul, they can cross the river and find out what genuine boredom really is.

2. Republicans don’t like Ingmar Bergman films.

And, finally …

1. The Monument to Republican Family Values at the airport men’s room is located in Minneapolis.